All the things no one prepares you for. I was not told a single word by family, teacher, no one about the core of life. It would have been great to get a heads up.
Alright, we all know how to put the condom on, what it is for, and why is it so important. But no one said a word about sex being a basic need in life. And it is possible to get it without love. That there is good and bad sex. And there will be a time where quantity will matter. Then a time will come when quality will take over.
In almost every human beings life sex plays a major role, yet, we learn nothing about it. How to take care of our sexual partner’s soul. How to pay attention to the other. What do the signs of the body mean? When someone lies and why. To dare to love and respect. To give, and receive. To never take it if it’s not given honestly. Never push it. Not to hurt anyone. To compliment, help and learn together. Sex for me is the physical expression of emotional harmony. I like you, I like to spend time with you, I find you exciting, I’m attracted to you. Let’s love each other, for how ever long it lasts. Let’s respect each other, for how ever long it lasts. Even if it’s only for the night, let it be love and caring.
I don’t judge the woman who likes to fool around with strangers. If she does it with respect, doesn’t hurt anyone and it makes her and the other happy. Sex is like water and food. Fundamental to life. We learn to eat. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t put your elbows on the table. Don’t sip the soup loudly. We never learn about the act of sex, because it is uncomfortable to discuss. So allow me to talk.
I love the man. I love his mind, his thoughts, his character, his scent and his attention. But I love me more. Now only men who grant and share my altruism get to spend intimate time with me. Sex is a dance, an emotional expression. I hear your sounds and I react. I see your movements and I react. I tune myself into your frequency so we reach harmony. We reach the clouds together. I would never experience this with someone who doesn’t think and feel the same way. Many years were necessary to learn sex and there is always room for improvement because no one teaches us and we can only learn from our own mistakes. But now each time is magical and it is worth the wait for quality.
It turns out sex and love don’t always walk hand in hand, but when they do, it’s a blessing. We can’t teach love, but we can talk about it. The first love comes early. How should we handle it? Shall I lose myself to it? Shall I forget about my friends and just spend time with him? How does a broken heart feel? How do we get over it? So many questions we need answers for. What is it like to be in love alone? To love someone for a life who doesn’t love back? To be loved by the wrong person?
I learnt to love because I was loved and I could express my emotions. But I never learnt who to love. So it happened that I gave my heart to someone who did not deserve it, threw it away, then burned it to the ground. So with tears escaping my eyes endlessly, I kneeled down to pick up what was left. I was holding tiny pieces of it in my hands, grieving the memory of the whole. Asking myself why didn’t he appreciate it, since it is the only heart that I have. But it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I gave it when I shouldn’t have.
For the first time I know that my heart has a very high price, so when I give it next time, he will know what a treasure he got. Because I learnt to love. I think so. A hopefully I can put the theory to practice.
Love is not always a long-term phenomenon. I also learnt to love for 1 night, 3 nights and 2 weeks. Just because we don’t share the idea of a common future, we can still love each other until the moment lasts. And I will respect you, pay attention to you, and will cherish you. I will always be thankful for the time we shared. It was not wasted because we all love to love. No matter how long it lasts.
But the most important love is the one we have for ourselves. This was the most difficult to learn. Love me unconditionally. But I’m the most important in my life and I love every bit of myself. Love is all around us and I wish to share mine with friends, with animals, with plants, with men, with women, with myself.
Not every sex and every love create a child. But when it does, we better make sure it fucking counts. When the miracle is born, he will mimic his parents. And if he doesn’t have examples, he won’t learn his way. Let’s look at the traditional example. Mum and dad. If the miracle is born for the bad reasons, to save a marriage, to keep him since it already happened, he won’t born into a well-prepared family. The parents didn’t discuss all the things that will change after his arrival. The female body will change, her mood and appetite will follow. The man will try to escape since he had no idea how hard this is going to be. The woman expects dad to do everything her way, dad will feel incompetent.
Dad agrees, but mum doesn’t. The miracle will be confused, once he can, once he can’t. If there is no dad, the miracle will never learn what it looks like when a man respects the woman. When a woman loves a man. He won’t learn the feeling of being loved by a man, being taken care of by a man. Won’t see what love is. Won’t see what caring for each other means.
Dad does nothing around the house, but mum works like a robot. The boy will expect his wife to serve him, the girl will spoil her husband. They never learn gender equality and equal distribution of labour. Mum has a problem with everything dad does. She says dad doesn’t know how to wash the dishes properly. So the boy will think he is good for nothing around the house. The girl will never be satisfied with her husband’s work and will set impossible standards. Mum doesn’t say what’s wrong. What’s wrong? Nothing. The miracle will never learn how to communicate and express himself, herself. Won’t look for solutions. Will shut down.
The three key areas to create our world is sex, love and family. Yet we don’t talk about them! We rather choose to mess up the kid’s soul. We leave him alone. We let him deal with the most difficult things in life without support. We demonstrate a bad example. He will grow up and we will have to watch him make our mistakes and he won’t hear us when we try to warn him.
He heard us already. When he was young. He heard us loud and clear. This is why he follows the footsteps and reenacts our mistakes.
Talk about sex. Talk about love. Talk about family. Give the future a chance, an opportunity to not have to grow up in a broken family, to not have to cry overnights unnecessarily, to not have to make a fatal mistake in the bedroom. Talk!