I think somewhere between being a little girl and becoming an adult I forgot to believe, that I deserve to hate it all. I deserve the life I always dreamt of. When someone dreams of a fabulous life, almost certainly the bad taste in her mouth comes with it. All the reasons and excuses why not, but never for why yes.
I destroyed myself over years
I remember even when I was 10 I believed in the world spinning around me, for me, with me. But slowly over years, I lost the power of this motivational and positive thinking. I started to think maybe life is not generous with all of us. Maybe I’m destined to live a mediocre life. Not getting paid more than what I would want is good enough. Renting an apartment with many flatmates is good enough. Going on vacation twice a year and a hand full of long weekends is good enough. But I never enjoyed that life.
Then one day I felt a strange feeling inside. Like a brave little girl is resurfacing with the beliefs that will give me to strength to fight for the life I always wanted. I learnt to enhance that bravery and I learnt to ask and receive from life. Someone told me once, as long as we treat life like a restaurant, everything will be fine. Because in a restaurant when you order, you know the food will come. You don’t ask the waiter to check on the chef every 2 minutes, you don’t go into the kitchen to see if your dinner is being prepared. You just know it is coming.
We simply need to believe that everything we asked for from life is coming. So I started conditioning myself and eliminated the word „if” from my vocabulary. I don’t even consider plan B because since I know plan A will work, it always does. I don’t leave room to failure. So no more: would be great, I would love, maybe, if, hopefully…
I know I can get it and I will get it. And so far my life turned out to be more than what I dreamt about. The first step to receiving was to be able to clearly verbalise what I was after.
I believed in it, so I got it
I have countless examples for you how I did get everything I asked for, but I’m going to tell you the one that is the hardest to believe it is true. How did I find a free place to stay on the Riviera Maya, South of Mexico in the city centre, by the beach, with a rooftop pool and a terrace, the size of my previous apartments? Sounds impossible right? The apartment is getting cleaned and my bed changed every 2 weeks. And I’m not paying a single penny for 3 months now.
The over-simplified answer is: I believed that I deserve it, so I got it. The long explanation provides more details: I create and then take my opportunities, I network like crazy, I built my self-confidence so people seek my company and I learnt to impress those, who I think are above me, and who I believe would only give me one chance to impress.
When I accepted my internship in a scuba diving school, I was at the very end of my 1-year backpacking around Latin America. Blew through all my savings and I was volunteering for a free bed. But I knew if I wanted to do scuba diving, I would have had to give up volunteering and I could not afford to stay here. So I asked the universe for a free place to stay.
I knew I deserved it, and I was ready to allow myself to have it, to receive it with open arms. Less than a week later I met my current flatmate and after one conversation she asked me to move in, without paying.
Impossible? My whole life is full of impossibles. All the things people consider impossible, I done them. All of them. Job, love, travel, self-confidence, career, accommodation…while others wait for an opportunity, I take them.
The big slice of pizza
I remembered a joke that is very appropriate here. Two people are sharing a pizza and there are only two slices left. But one is way bigger than the other. So guy 1 tells guy 2 to choose a slice. Guy 2 takes the big slice and guy 1 gets angry: Why did you choose the big one? If I could have chosen first, I would have chosen the small, so you can have the big. Guy 2: Well, there you go. There is your small slice.
And guy 2 was right. I would have chosen the bigger slice too. If life presents me with 2 options, I will take the one that’s more attractive. Why would I go against myself? I know I deserve the big slice.
Don’t wait for others
I sacrificed myself too often before. I let them take advantage of my good heart, walk all over me, betray me, cheat on me and what did I get? Nothing, because I didn’t believe that I actually deserve more. Now on the other hand and I know I can have it all. So I take it all – without putting others down. I just skip ahead of the line if I can. Anyway, I always ended up following my own rules without listening to anyone.
Yes, I did many mistakes ignoring warnings of others, but first of all, just because it was a mistake for one, doesn’t necessarily mean it will be a mistake for me too. Two, learning from others’ mistakes had never worked for me. I have to experience it to know for sure. Because I see a potentially good outcome, and if it goes to shit, well, at least I tried, and now I know. But so often it was the right thing to do.
Also, there are many who tell me that I’m irresponsible, my life is a mess, I take too many risks. Why does it bother them? It is my life, that doesn’t affect theirs in any way. And I don’t tell them how to live theirs, so don’t tell me how to live mine.
Who lives rent-free in Sothern Mexico by the beach? Who’s words are read by 3000 on the blog every day? How many people read the words of those who spit in my face? So why care? Is it offensive to be aggressively confident and getting a head of the line? Probably. But it is working.
The difference between people like me and people like them is that we believe we can have it all. And it is nothing to do with luck. I won’t allow anyone taking my credit away and call it luck. It was hard work in personal development, belief development, exploring, expanding my views, being courageous and being adventurous. I don’t believe in luck. This is more faith.
And yes, I don’t feel bad about asking more and more from life. Why wouldn’t I? I get what I ask for, so I will keep asking. Because I can. We used to believe for so long that the Sun orbits Earth. Why not believe in the Earth orbits around, for and with us. Cocky if you look down on others. Proud if you share your success and the key you found to it.